Relaxation
We all relax in different ways. For some of us, relaxation could involve reading a book, while others might prefer going on holiday, catching up with a friend, or watching a film, etc. We all have different ways that we let our hair down, and to unwind from the stress of our everyday lives.
But, what does it mean to relax or to be relaxed?
As a starting point, I think, the fact that we can engage in different activities to get into a relaxed state demonstrates that being relaxed is not dependent on the activities we do. It is clearly not intrinsic to the activities we engage in.
Otherwise, there would only be a few specific activities (or maybe even one activity) that we would all have to do in order to relax.
Therefore, it seems that relaxation is a state of mind, not an activity.
So, what is this state of mind?
If we pay close attention to our most relaxed moments—maybe after surmounting a hurdle or accomplishing a task—we can notice that we are engulfed by the present moment. We are unconcerned about the past or the future, we do not worry about what is yet to come or about what has already happened.
After long and intense periods of distress and turbulence, our minds finally return to their natural calm and peaceful state. Our worries and anxieties dissolve into the background of our experience, allowing us to simply be and exist in the moment.
For me, this state of mind, when we are deeply and truly relaxed, is best described as ‘unagitated’. Agitating thoughts, emotions, and sensations may arise, but they very often fail to disrupt, and are consumed by, the baseline relaxation that continues after they disappear.
Relaxation transcends, consumes, and encompasses all other experiences.
Can relaxation be accessed without an activity?
Meditation can be understood as conscious and active relaxation. While we meditate, we give ourselves the opportunity to simply be. Problems can be dealt with later, but while we meditate, we are just being—without an agenda, without a plan.
We let everything arise and pass away on its own accord, we improve our ability to remain in a relaxed, mindful state as difficult thoughts, emotions, and sensations arise.
As we become accustomed to this relaxed state of mind, it will begin to permeate the rest of our lives. And we can notice its presence amidst our everyday experiences.
Even when we are in a stressful situation, we can do so from a place of ease, allowing ourselves to simply be with the stress. And when the stressful situation subsides—and it always does—our ease and relaxation subsists. It simply washes through us, leaving us unstained and free to continue in our natural relaxed state.
Gradually, but surely, the distinction between being relaxed and being engaged in an otherwise agitating activity collapses. Relaxation can truly begin to transcend everything we experience—and we can respond to our challenges and meet people from a place of inner relaxation and ease.
“You get peace of mind not by thinking about it or imagining it, but by quietening and relaxing the restless mind.” — Remez Sasson.
But, how does this help in practice?
Over the last few weeks, I have subconsciously attempted to act out the ethos underlying these thoughts—that is, seeing relaxation as a state of mind—while dealing with stress.
I was faced with a situation where my preferred modes of relaxation were momentarily unavailable. I was effectively forced to find relaxation in the midst of otherwise stressful activities—or risk running mad.
But, even though I was visibly stressed, it always remained possible to take a step back and simply notice and observe; and in doing so, the presence of relaxation was noticed. The stress and the stressful situation did not disappear, but they could both be experienced with more ease.
In every moment, even stressful moments, we always have the option to simply be aware; allowing us to access a relaxed state of mind.
